I refuse to accept that I will not be able to leave
my couch or bed for longer than a minute or two
I refuse to accept that I am unable to drive and am losing my independence
I refuse to accept the crushing fatigue
I refuse to accept the medication I take makes me
worse as it makes me better
I refuse to accept I can’t work
I refuse to accept the diminishing participation in my
passions and hobbies
I refuse to accept I can’t walk more than a few feet
without aid
I refuse to accept that any form of exercise is so
difficult
I refuse to accept my body getting weaker every day
I refuse to accept the cost of illness my husband
and family also have to bear
I refuse to accept there’s no cure or real treatment
for my conditions
I refuse to accept my difficulty to show up to
appointments and medical tests
I refuse to accept that no matter how hard I try to do everything right, I've only been getting worse
I refuse to accept the powerlessness
I refuse to accept the powerlessness
I refuse to accept my body as an unwilling
participant in my life
But tomorrow, I’ll wake up and I will try to accept again
Because acceptance makes tomorrow bearable
Acceptance is liberation
Acceptance is healing
Today, I refuse
Tomorrow promises a fresh start to try again
There are no words to express how I feel. Acceptance doesn't come easily. Seven years down the line and I am still struggling with this. I take it a day at a time, sometimes an hour at a time. Hugsxxx
ReplyDeleteRachel, I agree. I think it's ok to sometimes allow yourself to be angry, frustrated, whatever because it's impossible to accept it all of the time. It's a slow climb and sometimes you slip and fall, but eventually you'll keep going. Hugs back at you.
DeleteAcceptance is a constant battle, instead of a perfect state of being. Here's to being a Warrior Lady.
ReplyDelete