Monday, September 12, 2016

Momentary Distraction

So much has happened since the last time I posted but I am still not doing well enough to type an update. I'm writing this on my phone. I've spent almost all of the last two months in bed on my BiPAP, recovering and trying to improve. I'm not there yet but I'm starting to get there. In the meantime, I'm going to try to share some little writings and crappy poems from my journal that I still write in almost every day. That seems manageable. I wrote this one a few days ago:

I crackle
I break
A body with a language all its own
No one can decipher
But a petal here
A petal there, look
It bends, snaps
A momentary distraction
Pause the piecing together
Holding limbs that fray and unravel
Clenching it all together for just a breath
To let it collapse
Look as it blooms
There's life pulsing there
A tiny blade of grass alone
A diaphanous web clinging in memory
Sunlight piercing trees
For just a moment the internal battle ceases
And I remember how to feel alive


  1. Hi Stephanie,
    So sorry to learn that you are still struggling so much every day. You have reminded me that it doesn't take much to send me right back to that bedridden place as well and I am feeling ever more grateful for every day that I can get up and move.

    It is good that you continue your journalling and wonderful that you managed to upload some of your poetry. It disturbs me that you felt it was 'crappy' because I don't understand. How can poetry that comes from the heart and soul be described that way? If those were your thoughts and feelings as you wrote, who is anyone else to judge? Art is a personal expression and poetry is an art.

    I'm glad you have been able to find a little bit of beauty and life amidst the difficulties.

    Wishing you small joys every day.

    1. Oh Jodie, I have missed your comments! Ok. Maybe I shouldn't call it "crappy." I'm still writing because it's essential to my humanity but actually typing a post isn't in the realm of possibilities yet. But your words are giving me encouragement to keep trying. I hope that you are doing well and I'm wishing you joy as well!


Comments are much appreciated!